READING

When are close friendships not okay?

When are close friendships not okay?

 

Close friends are the ones we can talk to about anything, and tell us the way it is. They ‘get’ us, and have our best interests at heart. Close friends can be guaranteed to be there when we need them most; we’d take a bullet for each other we are that close. No other types of friendships compare – think casual friend, or friendly acquaintance. Close friendships are most satisfying by far, so we should aim to make all our friendships close, right? Actually, that strategy can work against us and see our lives, and relationships, become an emotionally painful mess.

There are times when we should not try to be close friends at all. Here are four instances where you’re better off keeping a bit of distance:

Opposite sex – not your partner

It’s the typical ‘coffee machine liaison’. We catch up around the coffee machine at work, chat, share what we did on the weekend, maybe share our troubles as well. We can even do it over the net; share our heart with a man or woman of the opposite sex. It feels great, after all we don’t chat with our partner much anymore – we are too busy. But the more we share our heart with someone of the opposite sex the less we need to share it with our partner, making our relationship friendship less close; tearing it apart. If you value your relationship – and its friendship – work to make your relationship friendship even closer instead.

Opposite sex – you have no partner

What’s the harm? Your best friend is of the opposite sex and you know they could never be your partner – there just isn’t any chemistry, none, zip! But they are great company. This isn’t an affair, no partner gets hurt, so surely that means it’s ok? Problem is whilst you meet each other’s friendship needs you prevent any real relationship material getting a look in. Like it or not your close friendship with that other guy or girl is virtually guaranteed to get in the way of the next romance, it will prevent it properly developing – your opposite sex friend will be meeting friendship needs only your partner should meet. If you want that dream, intimate, stable, satisfying relationship then better to keep your close friendships to the same sex, until the ‘right’ person comes along – save the best for them.

The incompatibles

There is no point in trying to be close friends with people we just aren’t compatible with. This isn’t about liking different colours, it’s about us not agreeing with how the other person abuses or disregards people, that they take recreational drugs we find abhorrent, that we hate the way they lie and cheat. Being close friends should never compromise our integrity, it should give us validation for who we are, and bring out the best in each of us. It’s not worth our energy trying to be close friends with people who make us feel worse about our self.

Your therapist

Mental illness is on the rise and therapy/counselling works. But therapists can’t stay objective and help you very well if they have too much skin in the game. I have many clients tell me things they would never tell their best friends and they’ve mentioned the discussions helped them to clarify their thoughts in a way they otherwise never could. Don’t try to make your therapist a close friend, reserve that for others you can get to know and better share your life with. Develop a few close friendships and you’ll need to see your therapist less.

All friendships are worthwhile; they are an enriching part of the human experience. Some friendships we should always strive to be close, such as in relationships, among family, and with a few good girlfriends or mates. Some should never be close at all – we should keep them at arm’s length.

Time to focus on, and revel in, the close friendships that bring out our best!

HappyWellAcademy

Cass Lane is the happy Editor-in-Chief of Happiness + Wellbeing Magazine. A quintessential daydreamer with a penchant for cloud-watching, reading, yoga, hula-hooping and crisp, mountain air (or really, nature of any kind, but mountain air sounded way cooler), she can usually be found with a book in one hand and a journal in the other. The pen, of course, will be tucked behind her ear at some stage and quickly forgotten as she floats through the rest of her day. Cass also owns and runs Wild Spirit Co., a creative copywriting (which is just fancy word for ‘writing’) agency devoted to helping soulful small businesses, entrepreneurs and bloggers find their voice and communicate their brand with confidence.

Latest posts by HappyWellAcademy (see all)


RELATED POST

  1. I like the valuable info you provide in your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I am quite certain I’ll learn plenty of new stuff right here! Good luck for the next! Sheryl Arthur Chan

  2. erotik

    24 August

    Vous avez relevé des détails intéressants ! ps site décent. Avivah Giselbert Harhay

  3. erotik izle

    25 August

    Seu blog é um sucesso, muito completo. Ahhh quando a paixão está lá, tudo é 🙂 Tandie Lazarus Hughes

  4. erotik izle

    26 August

    Esta deve ser a melhor coleção de blogging site que eu descobrisse. Rozalin Nils Dunham

  5. It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.

    I have read this put up and if I may I desire to counsel you
    some attention-grabbing issues or tips. Perhaps you could write subsequent articles referring to this article.

    I desire to learn more issues about it!

  6. Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact used
    to be a entertainment account it. Glance complex to more introduced agreeable from you!

    By the way, how can we communicate?

  7. Double your

    31 August

    Yeah. that’s what I was exploring for.. thanks.
    Ashleigh Oliver Danyluk

  8. game cheats

    31 August

    I have been reading out some of your articles and i can state pretty nice stuff. I will make sure to bookmark your website. Diena Haley Verlie

  9. Torna makinesi nasıl çalışır? firması veya ofisler çalışmalarında
    titizlikle yürütmektedir.
    Türkiye cnc tornada ilerlemektedir.

  10. fason kaynak işi

    15 September

    fason kaynak işleri yapılır

  11. LisaSexia

    27 September

    rx bactrim

  12. Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed!
    Extremely useful info specifically the last part 🙂 I care
    for such info much. I was seeking this certain information for a long
    time. Thank you and good luck.

  13. DonaldUnuck

    14 October

    canadian pharmacy internet pharmacy no prior prescription online pharmacy

  14. negarapoker

    15 October

    When are close friendships not okay? – Happiness + Wellbeing Magazine negarapoker
    dominoqq online http://kazlogistics.kz/bitrix/rk.php?goto=http%3A%2F%2Fforo.unionfansub.com%2Fmember.php%3Faction%3Dprofile%26uid%3D145678 | negarapoker master dominoqq

  15. canadian drugs online https://canadiantrypharmacy.com – canadian pharmacies

  16. canadian pharmacy review http://viaciabox.com – canadian pharmacies online pharmacy shopping online

  17. cialis generic

    19 October

    Great data. Regards!
    http://canadian1pharmacy.com cialis generic

  18. kamagra sale

    20 October

    You explained it superbly., kamagra in new zealand https://kamagrahome.com kamagra

  19. frequency of hiv hand buy kamagra jelly online uk https://www.goldkamagra.com – kamagra oral jelly

  20. sikis

    24 October

    If you want to use the photo it would also be good to check with the artist beforehand in case it is subject to copyright. Best wishes. Aaren Reggis Sela

  21. http://www.loansonline1.com payday loans online fast deposit

  22. erotik

    25 October

    If you want to use the photo it would also be good to check with the artist beforehand in case it is subject to copyright. Best wishes. Aaren Reggis Sela

  23. kamagra

    25 October

    Whoa plenty of helpful data., kamagra oral jelly wann einnehmen http://www.kamagrapolo.com kamagra

  24. https://www.withoutvisit.com viagra without doctor prescription

  25. AmySexia

    26 October

    avana 100

  26. LyncAduddy

    27 October

    zithromax effectiveness

  27. cialis prescription cost uk https://buszcentrum.com/

  28. cialis online

    29 October

    http://cialiswlmrt.com – cialis generic

  29. generic viagra soft tabs 100mg http://grassfed.us/

  30. http://withoutdct.com – viagra without a doctor prescription

  31. lumigan coupons from allergan https://carepro1st.com/

  32. pfizer viagra 25 mg
    viagra delivery
    viagra priligy australia paypal Ret suite

  33. daily use cialis dosage http://www.lm360.us/

  34. where do you get chloroquine https://azhydroxychloroquine.com/

  35. hydroxychloroquine vs chloroquine phosphate https://chloroquine1st.com/

  36. healthe care
    http://canadianpharmacy-md.com – canadian pharmacy

  37. EvaSexia

    6 November

    tricor

  38. generic viagra cost at walmart http://www.zolftgenwell.org/

  39. how will 2017 health care reform effect medicaid allen county health department
    viagra without a doctor prescription usa https://www.withoutdroch.com

  40. Cash Loan

    7 November

    fha loan

  41. buy kamagra

    9 November

    the first symptoms of an hiv infection are united states department of health and human resources non profit organizations
    https://www.kamagramama.com – kamagra pills

  42. aca reform auc medical school
    viagra without a doctor prescription. http://www.doctorxep.com Ofmffkm pjtqhao

  43. Generic cialis

    9 November

    Thanks a lot for the article post.Much thanks again. Fantastic.generic cialis

  44. gumroad.com

    9 November

    Hi there friends, how is everything, and what you wish for to say about this piece of writing,
    in my view its genuinely remarkable designed
    for me.

  45. You’re so awesome! I do not suppose I have read
    through something like that before. So wonderful to discover someone with genuine
    thoughts on this subject. Really.. thank you for starting this
    up. This website is one thing that is needed on the internet, someone with a little originality!

  46. I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your website.
    It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and visit more often. Did you hire out a designer to create your theme?
    Superb work!

  47. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here.

    The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish.
    nonetheless, you command get got an impatience over that you wish be delivering the following.
    unwell unquestionably come more formerly again since exactly the
    same nearly very often inside case you shield this increase.

  48. online pharmacies

    11 November

    You actually expressed that well.
    http://canadianpharmacy-md.com canadian pharmacy

  49. bbertNaW

    12 November

    cost of viagra tablets in rupees
    viagra q and a
    legal viagra from canada Ret suite

  50. cialis dosage strengths http://cleckleyfloors.com/

  51. KiaSexia

    13 November

    medrol 8mg

  52. AmySexia

    14 November

    zebeta

  53. doctor physician viagra prescription

  54. Lawrence Lopez

    15 November

    I am sure this post has touched all the internet viewers, its really really fastidious paragraph on building up new web site.

  55. Shane Keaton

    15 November

    Ahaa, its fastidious dialogue on the topic of this paragraph here at this webpage, I
    have read all that, so now me also commenting at this
    place.

  56. cialis 10mg

    15 November

    cialis 10mg

    cialis 10mg

  57. sildenafil reviews

    sildenafil reviews

  58. Robert Caron

    16 November

    Woah! I’m really loving the template/theme of this site. It’s simple, yet effective.
    A lot of times it’s challenging to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and
    visual appearance. I must say that you’ve done a great job with this.
    Additionally, the blog loads super fast for me on Internet explorer.

    Exceptional Blog!

  59. viagta

    16 November

    romantix south bend in viagra can i take viagra or cialis if i take plavix i need viagra how long does it take for viagra to wear off

  60. viagra uk

    16 November

    viagra uk

    viagra uk

  61. John Schroeder

    16 November

    Ahaa, its nice discussion regarding this article here at this
    website, I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting at this place.

  62. viagra pills

    16 November

    family doctor search
    generic viagra

  63. cialis in action

    16 November

    cialis in action

    cialis in action

  64. Lynn Reid

    17 November

    Thanks for your post. I would love to remark that the first thing you will need to do is determine whether you really need credit improvement. To do that you simply must get your hands on a replica of your credit score. That should never be difficult, since the government makes it necessary that you are allowed to acquire one no cost copy of your credit report yearly. You just have to request the right people today. You can either look into the website for the Federal Trade Commission or maybe contact one of the major credit agencies straight.

  65. viagra addiction viagra heart attack are viagra illegal viagra 100 price

  66. viagra gay sex

    17 November

    viagra gay sex

    viagra gay sex

  67. why would you take high blood pressure and viagra is viagra a prescription drug in south africa what does viagra contain when you give your brother viagra girl takes male viagra xxx

  68. Ridiculous quest there. What happened after?
    Thanks!

  69. Xdkrlg

    17 November

    help with term paper – get assignments done online argument essay help

  70. Barbara Prins

    17 November

    Ahaa, its good dialogue on the topic of this paragraph here at this blog,
    I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting here.

  71. Endevf

    17 November

    website to write essays – pay for essay writing uk essay service cheap

  72. Undeniably consider that that you stated. Your favourite reason seemed to be at the internet
    the simplest factor to have in mind of. I say to you, I definitely get irked at the same time as other folks consider issues that they just
    do not understand about. You managed to hit the
    nail upon the highest as well as defined out the entire thing without having side-effects , people can take a signal.
    Will likely be again to get more. Thanks

  73. I think that what you posted made a lot of
    sense. But, think on this, what if you added a little information? I ain’t saying your information is not solid, but what if you added a headline that makes people desire more?
    I mean When are close friendships not okay? – Happiness + Wellbeing Magazine is a little boring.
    You should look at Yahoo’s home page and watch how they create news headlines
    to grab viewers to open the links. You might add a related video or a
    related pic or two to get readers excited about everything’ve got to say.
    Just my opinion, it would bring your website a little livelier.

  74. Hi there! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers?
    I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any recommendations?

  75. cialis ingredients

    cialis ingredients

  76. I couldn’t refrain from commenting. Very well written!

  77. Pfouuh

    17 November

    how to write a hiring letter – essay writing sites essay writers wanted

  78. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your web site
    and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.

  79. It’s awesome to go to see this website and reading the views of all colleagues
    about this post, while I am also eager of getting knowledge.

  80. I have read so many articles regarding the blogger lovers but this
    piece of writing is genuinely a pleasant post, keep
    it up.

  81. EvaSexia

    17 November

    cheap paxil

  82. whats a physician the affordable care act
    kamagra
    buy kamagra online south africa